The Single Mom Outbreak
An ex-girlfriend of mine had a baby not long ago. It’s actually the third time that a girl I was involved with got pregnant shortly after we were finished. By shortly after I mean got knocked up within a week to a month afterwards.
Another friend of mine, who I once had a fling with, is also currently pregnant.
What do they all have in common? They’re single moms, or going to be soon. This got me thinking, I know a few more people who are single moms so just how many do I know.
The most I can think of is eleven. I know eleven women who have kids without expecting or being prepared for them. What’s the big deal you say, there’s nothing wrong with single moms. Except there is. It’s not that they are inherently bad people or that they don’t love their kids, it’s that they made a mistake. Whether it was a “whoops” from a broken condom or just poor foresight they have kids and no father. Feminists can say all they want about strong women and single moms being able to do it all, but the fact is nobody plans for it that way. Even the most hardcore career woman who pines for an offspring knows that inside she still wants someone there to share that with.
And rightly so, two-parent households produce better more solidly developed children than single parents. Single mom doesn’t do everything because she wants to, she does it because she has too, if given a choice I’m sure she’d gladly delegate some of the work to another person.
Here’s the rundown; Some as I mentioned were women I dated, but others are friends, acquaintances, or old classmates.
- 4 with a kid and little to no involvement with the father, aka still single
- 4 who are dating the father character
- 2 who I have no clue about
- 1 who had a child while single, met a new guy got married and has a 2nd child with him.
Let’s forget the 2 I have no clue about since we can’t properly categorize them and bring it down to just 9.
Of that nine, four of them made mistakes. They’re still single and it could be a while if they ever actually get married or settle down with someone. One I doubt, three have a chance, but none of them are getting any younger.
Of the four who are dating the father, I can confidently say that they’re only doing so because he is the father and if there was no child there could be no guarantee they’d still be together. None of them had been together all that long before it happened, and in one case I don’t even think you could say they were “together”.
Though out of some sense of commitment the guy has stuck around. Though in one case, I wouldn’t bet any money on it just yet considering the father already has another child with a different woman. These girls made a mistake just like the first group, only their’s has been held together just a little bit longer so far. In this group all of them have babies under 6 months old so they haven’t exactly been at it for a long time either.
The one who had a child then found a new guy, got married and had another baby has the best chance of all and is the one the others should seek to emulate.
Of course it’s not all women. I know two guys who have kids as well. One’s is a baby, the other is a few years old. One simply knocked up a woman and now shacks up with her, but they aren’t really together, it’s more a convenience thing. The other guy, got his girlfriend of about 3 years pregnant so they got hitched quickly after they found out. He did it because they’d been together for a while and were serious anyway, but also cause he’s a church type and isn’t morally ambiguous.
What’s my point?
Of eleven single moms, not a single one was expecting, or wanting a child. They all ended up with one because of poor decision-making. When girls are encouraged to sleep around as though that equalized them with men somehow, they’re going to end up with a lot of kids that they didn’t plan on having. This isn’t just a phenomena amongst my social circle, but society at large. Say what you want about feminism and modern women, the fact is these were all mistakes that can largely be attributed to the devaluation that has occurred in the sexual marketplace. When it’s passed out like candy at Halloween the value of sex drops. In that sense it’s a lot like the US dollar because it doesn’t buy what it used too.
Another point that is never made is that single moms will have to start competing with each other in order to win a man. A man who commits to a woman who already had a child, is bearing an extra burden by taking care of a kid that isn’t his. With so many single-moms on the market(go check a dating site for proof), they’ll have to find ways of displaying their value to win the affections of the limited pool of available men who are willing to see past their history. Then again this is America and our society promotes laziness over effort so the chance that they put in the effort is probably low.
While it’s worked out for one of my examples above, I’d only bet on it working with one more, and only give two more the possibility that it might work out eventually. The rest, I believe, will have a long road ahead of single motherdom. If that’s a measure of success I’d say feminism has failed.
Posted on December 10, 2012, in Problems to Ponder and tagged america, children, dating, failure, feminism, foresight, knocked up, personal choices, relationships, responsibilty, single moms, society, unexpected. Bookmark the permalink. 5 Comments.