Life is the Leading Cause of Stress

I’m feeling stressed again. This tends to happen when big changes or events occur in my life. The last time it happened was last year in the first few days of my travels.

I was stressing out about making my trains, getting lost, and what I would do in these countries of which I spoke not a bit of language. I started feeling sick. The stress threw my appetite through a loop, I had a constant dull headache, and I’d say that when I bathed more hair than usual ended up on my fingers. All this transpired rapidly in a just a few days. Luckily, as I proceeded on my schedule I became comfortable that I would be okay.

Now again, nearly a year later and I feel stressed. Though this time it’s different. My head might feel a little…blocky, and maybe my body feels a bit off, but it isn’t manifesting itself so much physically this year. It’s more of a mental price that I’m paying.

As I wrote recently I have successfully gotten a new job. My first in over a year, so therefore it’s a big deal, and while I have the job, it isn’t so concretely established yet that I will fulfill my obligations. Not only that, but I still have quite some time before I actually start work and the anticipation probably isn’t helping. If I could get over my stress on vacation by getting through that first stage and becoming comfortable, then the same might apply here. If I didn’t have to wait so long it wouldn’t be so tormenting.

And this job means a lot to me. All my eggs are in this basket. I have a degree that I haven’t used, and no idea what I’m going to do with my life. This job is supposed to add some kind of a stable future to my life. I’m not thinking negatively, it’s just that I realize how important it is to me. If I don’t succeed I’ll probably be 30 and working at Wal-Mart in a few years. I’m smart and capable, but I can’t find an outlet for myself. Too much “Do what you love” and a crappy economy leaves a young man left high and dry. It’s scary to think that I might end up with not even a plan if this falls through. I will quite literally be lost. I may not have worked for the past near year and a half, but I at least had options to consider.

It also doesn’t help that my personal life at this point is non-existent. My friends are few and far-away so I don’t get much of a chance to be a part of a group. On top of that I haven’t even attempted to get a date in months, not since August last year probably.

This is what has smacked me hard today and caused me to write this post. How I would love an adequate job that allowed me to work and support myself with a nice little house, and to have a family as well. People who I actively care about and share my life with. No major stress beyond the day to day occurrences of home life.

This new job will give me the chance to meet people and make friends no doubt, and the addition of a female counterpart is equally possible. Still I have two months before I start and even then the job is not secure as I could easily be bounced out of the company, both before I arrive or at any time I’m there.

If there was anything I could change about myself, it would be to take life as it comes and deal with it without stressing out. I can deal with it, it’s just that when I know things are coming I start to worry and cause stress.

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About Moose

I am who I am

Posted on May 8, 2013, in blogs and the bloggers who blog them, Problems to Ponder, The Life of Man and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 9 Comments.

  1. You are going through a lot right now, it is only expected that you’ll feel stressed. You have before you the opportunity for gainful employment, friendship, financial security, and perhaps even companionship…I’d say that there was something wrong with you if you DIDN’T feel any stress.

    The important thing is to make plans and preparations, just in case. But when those are completed and nothing more can be done? Let your stress go, and take it day by day. Easier said than done…I know. Yet further needless stress will do nothing for you, and may even cause mental fatigue and a reduced immune system. Be careful.

    I pray that you’ll keep this great opportunity and do well at it. You have a wonderful blog, and hopefully will detail more of this as it happens! Blessed Be.

    • Thanks for the comment Sophia.

      I am definitely trying to get my mind off it, but there isn’t much else to fill in the gap so it’s a struggle at the moment.
      This post was meant to kind of blow off some steam from it, and I’m trying to find someone who can serve as an outlet for this same thing but in person.

      • Understood. Venting is an excellent way to reduce mental pressure…I should know: I’m basically a sounding board for two of my friends every week (they have a wife, kids and 2 jobs each!) It’s helpful to talk over the phone or in person, as you know.

        I hope that you are successful in finding your outlet soon.

  2. Use the time between now and when you start to do some low cost living. Go see free/cheap concerts, explore the city or surrounding area. Go on a brewery tour or a vineyard. Live a little and see where it takes you mentally. That and I’d say research the time for a fall back plan. I’m at a point where I think in the next year or two I’ll either have made it or need to leave my life in theatre behind. It’s scary as shit – so I’m considering going to a trade school. It’d mean I’d have to leave behind the sunk cost in theatre, but it is what it is. The only other option would be to double down, get a masters, and then teach at a university. Don’t see that being a good idea though.

    • I hear you. Though I’ve answered a few questions it seems i’ve also found twice as many that I have to answer now.

      I think I’ll be exploring the state a lot more in the next few weeks and might have even found a job I could have til I start.

      Good luck with yours.

  3. Well first, congrats on the job!
    Per stress…Have you tried any visualization or (physiological) conditioning practices to try to combat stress and apprehension? Everyone is apprehensive before a new job, especially if it’s a type of work you aren’t very familiar with.

    Breathing relaxation techniques work pretty well for me, but honestly I tend to be a stress case as well until I develop a habit pattern, and that takes a couple of months at least.

    I asked my husband what he does and he said he tries to speak slowly and concentrate mainly on learning about others. When you’re concentrating on other people, you’re less focused on yourself and that eases the apprehension. When people are nervous they tend to speak quickly and/or fidget and this can make others nervous as well.

    I’m sure you’ll do great! (really curious what this job is…). 🙂

    • Thanks Liz.

      I defintely need to find ways to occupy my mind on other things. Distract myself.

      I am going to try some breathing and meditation type stuff to try and calm myself.
      I might even have a chance to get a job for the time being, though it would be physical labor, it will still busy me enough.

      It’s all just about time, and the need to let myself relax and not worry about things I can’t control.

      About the job, maybe I’ll share that in the future, when I’ve succeeded with it for a bit.

  4. Geez, that post was basically my life in 1000 words or less.
    “I have a degree that I haven’t used,” – Check

    I recently got a job after 8 mos of not working

    “This job is supposed to add some kind of a stable future to my life. I’m not thinking negatively, it’s just that I realize how important it is to me. If I don’t succeed I’ll probably be 30 and working at Wal-Mart in a few years” – check except change it to 35 and working as a cocktail waitress in a basement bar

    “It also doesn’t help that my personal life at this point is non-existent. My friends are few and far-away so I don’t get much of a chance to be a part of a group. On top of that I haven’t even attempted to get a date in months, not since August last year probably.” – check, check, check

    “How I would love an adequate job that allowed me to work and support myself with a nice little house, and to have a family as well. People who I actively care about and share my life with. No major stress beyond the day to day occurrences of home life.” – check – except I am working. And I feel – how can I love this job if even if I like the work I don’t get a family, make friends, create a life for myself? It has been 4 mos and I am not myself at work. I am not engaged. I don’t “care”. I have always been a great self-motivator but now, I have gotten to where I need to be and I need someone to believe in me. Someone real, not abstract. Someone I come home to. I can sit all day at work or at home, either way I am still alone.
    My hope. In a few months after my new living situation is settled I will open up like a flower. This has happened before. Instability is stressful. I live in a constant state of stress and it is totally unpleasant to be around – I am greatly aware.

    Good luck! Don’t let my horribly sad and depressing comment affect your sure springboard to the life you want and worked for!

    • The thing is that as I’ve gotten older I’ve been much more willing to embrace the little things that we all have to do in our daily lives, but I still hate the bigger things like finding a job.

      That’s why I look forward to the changes coming for me even though that itself comes with many unknowns.

      Good luck.

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